Things & Words

Hi!

What's up? 

This is the last week of midterm test and so far it all went well. I'm studying hard (and eating even harder, no wonder that I gain some weight during this midterm test lol) and I hope that I will get good scores for all the subjects! Aamiin... 

After a long hiatus of myself not making any poems or stories or any literature kinda thing, I miss my time to make one. So, I take a look on my old work and smiling while re-reading it. I was so innocent back at the time and life has been more challenging years by years, I'm not that girl in my work anymore. I can see that all of my work is almost related to sadness. Hmm... Interesting much? I know myself better and better thru analyzing my work because it actually represents me, represent all things that happened and making me.

It's my very first book: Collection of short stories (2014)

I'm thinking to start posting my work here, in my blog. My work are all done in Bahasa Indonesia because I'm not a pro to make masterpiece in English, my grammar sucks :p Gonna post it on the next post... So, stay tune!

Much love!

Cheers,

Gendis.

Why and What

Why do I blog?

Oh, hi! It's gonna be a short post, I promise.

I'm answering my own question to myself as an opening for my seventh post here. I've been blogging back in the days, but never committed to do it well. I kept being a lazy little blogger and didn't even care with this thingy. You can still open my old blog Cotton Candy and Chocolate and you can totally judge me. I am that girl, I've been experiencing that time. Now, I would like to make a commitment to myself to blog. I want to 'photograph' my life in words, publish it in this blog, so I can read it again in the other day. I have to admit that it feels awesome to have a blog, even that I've just written less than 10 posts here, but hey! It's my blog anyway :p And I'm not sure if there is anyone that is interested to read my blog, but it's fine as long as I don't do something bad, yeah? So, the blog is basically my e-diary. 

What's going on?

Move on to last month report, September was great. Kinda shocking, but it was not a big deal, really. I thought last month was the time that I adjust to the society in my major at the campus and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to rock it well as the time goes by. I told you before in my last post that I'm majoring in something that I can call it my passion, but not my people. I already got some projects to do in this third semester with some new people and there are some struggle to work with them. I just met them and I might yet accustom. I mean, all of my besties in the first year are all in the same major which is Journalistic, except me. In Public Realtions, I'm trying hard to fit in. Maybe I'm just feeling insecure to live the college life without them in the class. 

Bonus a selfie with my best partner for reporting a news this week, the "eyebrows on fleek" girl, Icha.

And her lips! Lips on fleek.

And now, hello October! Please be nice because I know someone whose birthday in October is a nice person :)

Cheers,

Gendis.

UMN TV: More Than a Team

Hi!

A little hiatus since my last post. Campus started on August 31st, tasks keep coming to make me busy. The third semester feels like anything related to boring. Some of my best friends a year before is going to the different major, which is journalism. I'm majoring in public relations, my passion, but not my people inside. I'm still trying to comfort myself in this situation, like compromise myself that everything's going to be okay.

Now, I would like to tell you my story with UMN TV, a media campus that I have joined since the second semester.

I want to share an experience I have done this summer holiday with UMN TV. I'm chosen to be the leader for the booth UMN TV open at UMN Expo. I got zero experience of being a leader, except being a leader of some kind of artsy events. I know this kind of event is easy to lead by some of the members of the UMN TV though they are awesome, but I also know that myself are not quite able to direct people, since I'm more like a worker not the boss. It feels awkward at first, but I'm trying to look for an idea, how do I manage this team. What I got is, lots of things to learn. Especially, I know myself better because it drives me to look inside myself and talk to myself and ask who I am actually. 

I worked with awesome people, some of the members of the UMN TV. They help me to build a believe that we can make this thing work out. Even though, the fact that our booth doesn't run smoothly. There were some obstacles we faced, tear fall, but hey! This is my first time and I can't judge myself that I'm a loser, aight? We did it and I'm proud of my team!

Booth UMN TV at UMN Expo 

 From left to right: Frisa, me, Barnez.

Enough with the throwback, now move on to yesterday's moment. Yesterday, September 23rd, was the first time I am in charge as a cable man, also as a camera person at Talent Night Miss UMN 2015. It was very challenging for me because you know, that was my first time. But there will always a first time for everything. It turns out fun and I'm happily proud of myself. I know there were lots of mistakes I did, but I learned a lot and leads me to be better next time. At the event, some trailer of our program on UMN TV was playing and I just felt so happy at that time and so proud of my team. The feeling, it was so irreplaceable.

Me as the camera person.

Members of the UMN TV that is in charge of the Talent Night Miss UMN 2015 day 2.

From left to right: Me, Kak Sella, Eka.

On UMN TV, I'm in charge of the program, Enjoy Your Weekend. It is a program that will guide you what to do on the weekend and how to have fun. But not just that, Enjoy Your Weekend will also give you some good information and education as well. You can watch our program like Enjoy Your Weekend, Lensa Mahasiswa, Sparklist, Jam Santai, UMN Sport, and Meja Redaksi at tv.umn.ac.id or at the YouTube UMN TV starts October 5st. (P.S. Please subscribe our YouTube channel)

I worked with 10 incredible people in this program, which is Kak Melanie, Kak Yovita, Kak Baby, Kak Ebi, Kak Sisi, Kak Arief, Kak Akmal, Eka, Samuel, and Elisa. To run this program is never easy, we met some problems, we failed, but I know if we have faith, we will make this program our bundle of joy. I just want to say that I'm so proud of them, like really proud.

Not full team.

Top: Me, Eka, Elisa, Mas Ecopark Ancol, Kak Akmal, Kak Sisi, Kak Melanie, Samuel.

Bottom: Kak Baby, Kak Ebi, Kak Yovita.

It is not easy to be in the team of UMN TV, you gotta have a strong will and passion to hang on, a faith that will guide to brightness, to success. I'm a newbie here, not even a year, but I am falling in love with my team. They all teach me to always give the best out of me to build this dream together. At this time, I'm writing this, I feel bad with myself. I know I haven't given my best, I haven't done anything for UMN TV like others have done, I may not the person they adore. I'm still fighting through the dilemma I have in my heart, between my personal life and this UMN TV life. I hope God leads me to the brightest decision and makes everybody happy.

I surrounded by great and beautiful people, who will always there to support me and drives me to break my limit as big as theirs. Great teamwork, great family. They are, literally, everything to me in my college life so far :) Because, yes, UMN TV, we are more than a team.

Dear UMN TV, I hope we can strengthen our bond and be the number one in everybody's heart.

Cheers,

Gendis.

My Bundle of Joy

Hi!

It's a beautiful day! I made a time to finally meet my chairmate in high school, Anka! I also met up with Dessy. We were hanging out in the mall nearby my campus and having lunch at the foodcourt. I got Bakmi Gajah Mada, while Anka and Dessy are eating KFC. We talked a lot. Anka told us about her life being a dentistry student, living alone without parents, and her eating habit that didn't even change since high school, ayam goreng and anything deep fried as long as they are chicken, beef, egg, tempeh, or tofu.

From left to right: Anka, me, Dessy.

We also watched Inside Out! The new Pixar movie. It was a great movie telling us about anything relate to emotion inside ours. After out from the cinema, Dessy and I agree that Anka is the sadness, because one of the dialogue in the movie, "I'm too sad to walk..." Lol, just kidding Anka. You guys should watch Inside Out, too! The movie sparks a dialogue around emotions and remind us that all emotions count. It is a worth to watch the movie, for sure.

It has been 1 year I didn't meet Anka, Anka is still the most awkward person I know, lol. Other than that, she is literally real, she needs no drama at all in her life. She managed herself well to be comfortable even when she's alone. I worship her for that. What I see her now, she needs more confidence in her soul. I don't know, she has to get up and starts facing the real life. I think it can be fun if she joining some activities in her college, make friends with more people, and doing good stuff that definitely will help her build up the character in herself. I know she got the power to conquer the world, deep inside her heart. It's just not shown up. I wish her a good life in the university, to be a diligent student and gain experience as a young adult. So, she can make a good career and be a better Anka. And one more thing, to eat healthy food and usual Indonesian food like other Indonesian eats, Anka, you better start liking fruit and veggies and also siomay, mi ayam, soto, etc! :P

As a closing, here I got a portrait of me and Anka when we had a yearbook photo shoot last year.

Sorry for the bad quality photo.

Bonus a throwback photo with my high school friends before we are studying in different places. I miss you girls, I wish I can turn back time for a good time.

From left to right: Alya, Anka, me, Dessy, Muthia, Ais.

Cheers,

Gendis.

Saturation Point

I actually fly on the wall and that is what makes me really need an explanation for what I see, what I hear. I feel like everyone's staring at me in the eye and saying lots of things I don't remember. I'm not in the mood of doing anything. I'm such a fool, I know. I just... I'm not focusing. Lately, everything that is happening distract me in a bad way, I can't control myself. I can't control my emotion to be more calm. Though, I realized that this time, is the important time I should pay more attention. I couldn't deny that I'm a lazy little monkey, but I can be a very hard worker like I'm running out of money. Yeah but this time, there's nothing I can hang on to, no one. 

Until I see the sky. Sky's so blue, sun's so bright. It looks so dreamy to look at the sky for a while, forget about anything, anyhow. Then I close my eyes, start imagining a fun thing. I play on the edge of the rainbow, filling my mouth with a lot of marshmallows. Seeing a bird singing on the apple tree and hearing my grandma yelling me to come in to a candy house because she's making a blueberry pie. I'm so darn happy. Kidding. I seriously have to get through that dream because a bee stings my soul.

I need to wake up from the drama I make my own. Life's not a fairytale, it's an evil world. I can't just chill, rely on my everyone's shoulder. I definitely have to WAKE UP. Turn this evil in me to a fairy godmother. So, I can stand in my own. The heck with all the barriers because I was born to be a winner. God trusts me so that people give trust in me, I just need to trust myself that I can. This whole thing I'm working on will definitely pay off, someday, somehow. Sometimes, life's unfair, until you recognize how lucky you are to be alive here, in the world. I'm lucky.

At times, it is hard to keep me motivated, like I'm not ready for everyday challenges. Life goes up and down, but you know what? I'm a survivor. I might be struggling in the way to my success, exhausted in the middle of the journey, but I'm not gonna exit. I'm not a quitter. Past may not be changed, but I can always change my future. And it is all starts from now.

Dear me, I know you will read this again by the time running, you just have to remember to don't give up and always give the best out of yourself :)

Cheers,

Gendis. 

Wednesday Afternoon

I was sitting in front of a happy couple. They laughed so hard, like trying to tell everyone they're meant to be a lover. I was sitting in front of the couple, alone. My mind flowing in the air asking about a job, to think anything. Eyes were rolling, but looking at them. Butterfly smiles, tree swings. They caught me in the eyes, I left. I carried a diary in my hand, holding it like it is His hand. Tears falling, I don't mind. And I heard a voice, ringing loud in my ear. The one keeps telling, "Don't look back."

Meeting High School Mates

Hello!

Yesterday, I met my high school girlfriends at the newest lifestyle mall in Tangerang, which is the Maxxbox in Lippo Village, Karawaci. They're Dessy, Ais, Nadya, Muthia, and Tewe. I'm the one who came earlier and starving for some good food. We've been managing to have lunch at the Food Mart Primo, it's like a food court with many varieties of foods, from Indonesian to Western food.

When I came to Maxxbox, my eyes caught a healthy cold-pressed juice stall and dying to try one. It's Rejuve and they offer me some nice discount for buying 3 juices. The juice itself tastes great and very refreshing, I love it! You should try their cold-pressed juice. Instead of juices, they also sell some smoothies and nut milk, such as cashew and almond milk. I tried the Asian Green (Spinach, cucumber, pineapple, apple), Classic Green (Kale, cucumber, mint, pineapple), and U Glow (Carrot, orange, pineapple). From the 3 juices I bought, I love Asian Green the most. You should try it too!

Then I took two tables for 6 of us and asking for the menu. I started looking at the menu and pick a meal for my lunch. I ordered Prime Beef Roast with mashed potatoes and BBQ sauce. It was very delicious! Yum.

A moment after my meal came, Muthia, Nadya, and Tewe come and followed by Ais and Dessy. They ordered their lunch straightaway because I already eat my lunch before, lol. We're talking about an hour, from our activities on the campus and also some random things. Nadya went to University of Pelita Harapan majoring in International Relations, Ais majoring in Visual Communication Design, Muthia goes to the Medical School, Tewe just got accepted at the university in Bandung majoring in Pharmacy, while Dessy is in the same university as me and we're both majoring in Communication Science. It was good to meet them all, finally, after a long time struggle being a freshman. They all make some differences from the look and also the personality, but I still like them anyway. We may grow in different direction, but we will always have each other's back.

We finished our lunch and heading to the mall across the street which is Supermall Karawaci to make our prayer and about to watch a movie in the cinema. We were watching Fantastic Four and it was a fantastic movie because it makes me feel fantastic like four superheroes in the movie, jk.

Nadya bought a pizza for her mom and brother at home, also a shampoo at The Body Shop. While Muthia and Ais got some case for their iPhone. It was a fun time, really, spending time with them. Here's a photo of 5 of us, Dessy left earlier because she went home by public transportation, taken by the Mr. Security.

From left to right: Tewe, Muthia, Me, Nadya, Ais.

Sorry for the bad quality photo.

I wish I can spend time with my girls more often and doing some fun things. 

Cheers,

Gendis.

Living Life

Hello! 

I often ask myself about how I ended up being who I really am now. A lot of things happened lately, well, actually all the things that happened in my life create this version of me. I am a wallflower who interested in many things, kinda wishy washy, and love to eat, a lot. Hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For real. No, wait. I like to sing too, and to shop (Who doesn't, by the way?). When people meet me for the first time, they might think that I really am a full-time loner who are a little bit not friendly. I actually just don't know how to hang with you guys straightaway because I am an awkward person. Of course, I'd love to try to be like anyone else who are very easy to associate, with new people and I'm just gonna say like, "Don't be afraid, I won't bite you!" thingy. Enough. That is all about me.

What I actually want to share in this first post on my blog is the power of being a dreamer with a strong believe and the spirit of a fighter. We all can dream something, anything. I dream about a perfect happy family, a complete one. I know it can’t be realized now because I’m just a broken home kid. No, I don’t blame my parents for this to happen, not anyone else, and not myself. It's just something that helps me to build a strong feeling to believe. Believe in something that may be hard to be realized, but not impossible. Being a kid of a divorced parent is not easy, I admit. Even though, I once think that I supported my parents to separate because I don’t think their marriage went well after years and their relationship just not right, after it happened for real I feel like… What just am I thinking about? I know they separated for good, but it is not something that I expected that time. As a 14 year old teenage girl I was so labile back in that day and also freak-out to facing the truth. So, years by years, after life slapped me so hard right in my face, I finally woke up from my sleep and ready for facing life. My eyes and heart are finally opened. I’m alive. Life gives me the best present of being patient and heartfelt.

My dream is to have a perfect happy family. I don’t want my future children to feel the same feeling as what I’ve felt back then. To have a wonderful husband who love and accept me for who I really am, my good and my bad, the pain of the past, my background, my parents. To build a beautiful marriage, sakinah, mawaddah, rahmah marriage with faith. To give birth to salih and salihah children. A wonderful family in God’s cope. I dream this dream to prove my parents, though they are not a good role model, I don’t want to make the same mistake as they did. I want to make them proud of me and be happy. For the hope of my teenage dream and their prayer. I believe I will make it happen and I know it will. I believe in myself, in God, in nature. Nothing can beat that faith, I keep it in my heart. Someone who believes, literally in everything, is someone who is real. Believe will give you strength to do anything you want, even your biggest fear. I believe I can do this, I believe I can make this, I believe I can be this, you have to believe. We all have to. 

Then what is the point of having dreams and believe it gonna happen if you don’t fight for it? We are all born as a fighter. How much a fighter can be, it depends on how we sharpen our skills to fight for our dream, we have to polish the spirit of a fighter inside ours. Don’t be easy to give up, give the best of you to embrace the good. A true fighter is someone who can be the best version of his/herself. We are born as a spark, to be ourselves. We can’t let down our parents to deal with life, our dreams, and believes in vain. Work for it! 

I’m in the beginning of my last teen year now, I’m 19. I’m surely not a good motivator, if you think this is just a bullshit, it’s okay. At least, this is not a bullshit for me. Oh! And one more important thing, appreciate all things, nice and bad, because it will give you respect and esteem. Definitely boost your mood up to be a better, and better, and better person.

It is very emotional for me to write this, but I’m happy with it. I’m happy to accept me for everything that I’ve been through and just keep being me. Love yourself, be humble, and surround yourself with good vibes. Life has been so beautiful, might not perfect, but definitely a perfect experience and process of learning. Just like what Cinderella’s mom said in the movie (Cinderella, 2015), “Have courage and be kind.” 

So, here is my first blog post that I dedicated to all the dreamers, the believers, and the fighters out there. Good luck in everything and have a good sip of coffee :)

Cheers,

Gendis.