A Gem in a Railroad Tie

Once I met a flower, that blooms silently in a room full of smoke. The flower spread fragrance that seems so familiar in my olfactory vocabulary. A night blooming jasmine, a bit of freesia, a touch of wild flowers in Caribbean Island, with a decent sweet vanilla. It blurs in the air, intangible tangible kind of thing that will always make you wonder, is it here? 

Then I saw the flower swings, it dances. The flower follows the wind that asks it to play, but a butterfly came into the room and resting on the petals of the flower as it told the flower to just stay. It's like, the butterfly has hypnotized the flower. The butterfly made some promises, convinced the flower to believe. And the flower believed. 

But you know what? The butterfly didn't mean it. The butterfly actually resting on the petals of the flower to catch a beautiful butterfly next door. The one with sparkling wings, dazzling patterns, very stand out compared to other butterflies. The butterfly flew away, with the beautiful butterfly that I mentioned, and become a lovely duo. All the warm conversations and a little laugh that the flower and the butterfly did are just an illusion. Promises, remaining as something that's been forgotten and breaks everything. The flower should be known from the beginning, that a flower would never become a butterfly. The butterfly is not its match. 

Days pass, the flower still blooms silently, in a more graceful way than before. The hope of becoming a butterfly will never subside, though it will always be a daydreaming. The flower still thinking about the butterflies that become a perfect couple since that historic day, Thursday night as the flower can remember. The flower didn't even care about its feelings that is hurt anymore because all the flower can feel is that, the butterfly is a good and kind creature that will always melt its heart. The flower prays everyday and night, wishing to be free from the mantra of the butterfly that still haunts, and never leave. 

The flower stands still, never been picked by anyone, and became a portrait of an independent soul. 

Artwork by Katie Daisy

I give my respect for the big heart, for the strong commitment, for the love of being in love, that the flower always preserve. The flower is on the threshold of a mesmerizing life coming in the door. Knock, knock.. 

Even though I salute the flower, there's something that still makes me confused and wondering. How can I differentiate the feeling between love and admiration then? Or is it lust? When it's simply about, how I swam into your words, I dove in your soul for the finding of what you call the one, and I kept it that way even if I'm not the one. 

I know you're a gem in a railroad tie and I'm glad you've found your love. 

Commitment

Commitment is rare, said Dee.

Yes, I agree, even if you declare yourself as the most principle beings living on this earth. Because I've learned about commitment from someone I know, the one that always been adored. Commitment is crucial. It's an engagement, the state when you're truly dedicated. Many aspects in life that need commitment. Though, it is very tricky to keep one, especially when you're in between. How you manage your commitment, not just verbal, but practical. The phenomenon is, human tend to change. And the changes (it can be anything), I think, tend to wobble commitment. A wobbly soul will end up with no commitment. 

Then why is it important to commit?

Well, I believed that commitment is a reflection of our faith in something. It's an act of good will. Keeping up with your commitment would be harder than keeping up with the Kardashians, but your commitment would worth every penny. I give my respect 100% to those who stand for their commitment. 

It may cause bias since it's a very general public opinion of mine, but I let you think freely of what commitment means to you. For now, all I can say is that I commit through my prayers.

Cheers,

Gendis.

Disconnected to Connect

I was sitting in a yellow-red color fast food chain restaurant with a friend last week. We were eating chicken nuggets and fries while having a nice talk. We both didn't bring our phones on purpose and turned out it feels great. Well, it was only an hour, but I enjoyed every bit of it. We disconnected ourselves. 

We didn't worry about the unread chats, the unpressed love button, and all social things that technology offered to connect, or no, but to disconnect. 

Besides, what social about social media? 

Yes, we socialize on social media. Yes, we get values of social changing. Yes, we can access anything we want. But, do we understand things? That is happening around us? Or we get a less understanding? 

As we make a favorable impression that we build ourselves for others to see as an image. As we get an evaluation of multiple images after we practice what we preach as a reputation. As we get networks, as we build relations. As we communicate as social beings. As the communication is intentional, manifested in what we call social media.

I used to be very ignorant to my phone, and now I can't. I miss myself in a year ago, when I didn't have to hold my phone all around because I just hate it, when I just kept my phone off in my backpack at the campus, when I was peacefully happy even if my phone is nowhere to be found, and all that is when I haven't got the responsibility as a social media strategist in my community. 

It's not that I don't put my heart on what I am doing, but somehow, I want to take a break from it. I want to connect with the world, with humans in my circle, with my mom, with myself. I try to be professional as I could, while it's not just about competence, but attitude and commitment. Then I ask myself, why did you undertake it at the beginning? 

Everyone thought that being a social media strategist is an easy thing to do, but no, trust me dude, at least for me. Moreover, I skipped details and things that I should post on my community's social media in recent days. I don't know how to uplift my mood to maximizing the social media as a marketing tool. Mom keeps telling I'm busy so that I'm not focusing, but I believed that there's no such a word as busy, but productive, as we can manage our time well. Maybe I just lose my retention on how to manage my time in a right way, but I'm just so qualm of my routines. 

Tired is having no time to disconnect and I'm tired. I want to throw away my phone out of my life into the deep sea. The end.