The Relief

This whole year has been a quite roller coaster ride for me, excitedly.

When I first wrote my first post in 2016 as a wake up call, I think, yes, it was kind of true. I'm very grateful that I've experienced such a W O N D E R F U L year, full of blessings and (good) surprises. I was clueless at first, but this young-rebellious soul that I got inside me, baby, is now understanding the essence of being human. And that life, is so great. That life, is a chance of everything. That life, is meant to be appreciated. That life, is a bridge to another. That life, is worth.

This year leads me to many kinds of things. I met many kinds of people. And about many kinds of things and people, I learned. It was magical, a bit whimsical, kinda like a dream that came true. Ups and downs that I've faced are valuable, every hellos and goodbyes that I've met are diamonds. Memories, from new experiences and opportunities I got. This year has taught me lots of things: family, friendship, love, education, career, etc. I'm (finally) waking up.

One thing as a hit of the year:

Nothing can beat a full heart of kindness.

Kindness, for me, is everything. It is hard to be kind anytime to anyone, but I got a sticky note inside me that always reminded that kindness are free and for everybody. There's no people in this world that don't deserve kindness. I'm practicing being kind instead of right. To let go of the negative thoughts that haunted (especially to some people and some new things) and bring out kindness to the whole new level. Kindness feels like magic, an act of beauty.

Beautiful memories have created. By appreciating the little things and showing more gratitude, every step I took this 2016 are all sunshine and rainbows. When I met monsters in the midst of the journey, I acknowledged and beat 'em with some fresh inspirations. Embracing the journey also one of a thing, how I celebrated everything with joy and set aside every sadness that came. Beside the sense of losing that I felt earlier this month, this year, I feel content. 

Another thing that best described 2016 is the relief. Guess I'm not a religious person since my religious practice just far from perfect, but I'm kind of a spiritual one. I dearly believed that The Greatest of them all, God, has prepared everything that is happening perfectly. Well, all are the best one we could ever receive. I have faith in it. There is one Surah of the Quran that says it all:

The Relief (QS 94)

Did We not expand for you, (O Muhammad), your breast?

And We removed from you your burden

Which had weighed upon your back

And raised high for your repute.

For indeed, with hardship (will be) ease.

Indeed, with hardship (will be) ease.

So when you have finished (your duties), then stand up (for worship).

And to your Lord direct (your) longing.

From the Surah I always remembered, any kind of hardship and difficulties will follow with ease. There would always be a way out. Or if I can rephrase it, there would (also) might work the other way. And it keeps me going.

To everyone that contributed in the construction of myself in 2016: Thank you.

Let 2017 be the year of care - to take your life into your own hands.

"I am a flower that blooms silently,

because a flower doesn't think of competing with other flowers,

it just blooms"

The Sense of Losing

Hilang

Langit memayungi tubuh rentan yang berbalut kain gelap

Aku bisa melihat, setiap peluh yang jatuh

Dari tangan-tangan dengan urat yang berlomba 'tuk terlihat,
berayun melambai

Ataukah terabai?

Gelisah menjadi palung serupa benteng penutup diri

Sengatan yang dirasa sejak pagi, sangat jemawa,
layaknya lakon paling amis di kota

Kemelaratan yang merambah tanpa ampun

Memecahkan cahaya-cahaya paradoks
di sudut gang sebelah mana

Mungkin juga dangau?

Tempat aku menyimpan indra-indra tak bernyawa

Kutemukan awam mulai banyak jemu

Balam mata mencari kedatangan yang tak sudi dan pilu

Siapa telah berbisik padaku:

Hilang adalah titik temu

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Been thinking about losing lately. The feeling haunts me and I admit, it's not good, at all. At the same time, it triggers me to make the most out of life because life itself, is once in a lifetime experience. Or is it just the effect of being in the last month of the year? December, are you so attached to some kind of, ending?

Sincerely

So,

I bumped into a post on Instagram this morning and it came up with an interesting caption quoted from Dale Carnegie, "Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely".

Lately, almost everyone told me that they're at a point where they feel like they didn't maximize themselves in what they've been doing. I listened to them, while analyzing how come everyone feels the same feeling at the same time. Or is it just a stage that will hit anyone in the odd semester? I understand because I've been feeling it, thank Goodness now I can handle (Here's a tip: I listened to True Colors performed by Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick for the movie Trolls, so serene, and it helps).

Oh, Carnegie said it right. I believed each person in our life meant to be something important and take a part of the construction that build us. Each person has a special space in our heart and no one will take it. Each person has a role. As much as possible, I encouraged everyone whose telling me their stories that they're important, not explicit, I prefer to metaphor it in words and actions. I'm not just listening to their stories, but I enjoyed knowing and understanding them in person. Everyone is unique in their own way, you're so different that you're irreplaceable. 

You are important; Every eye I stared, every hand I hold.

It's okay to be uncertain, like Birdy has said, "life can be unkind, but only sometimes", dear. So, don't give up before you start. Every single thing you do, it's a form of gratefulness, so better always do your best.

Be human who radiates love.

Cheers,

Gendis.