The Truth

November's healing.

If I could quote from Café Society, November feels like "Very pretty, but a bit melancholy." I already in way too deep and I didn't think that I should give any signs. I'm not wondering, but I am waiting to finally take action to show and trust that I'm at the same point of what you looking for. And yes, there are some questions you don't wanna know the answers, so instead of finding it out, you left it hanging. I want to convince myself to perceive every single thing as blessings, rather than questioning. I believed that I can grant by something I never imagined gaining because, you know, God is the kindest one.

The truth is people never expect silence, so I remain silent.

Mata yang Memeluk

Matamu merasuk tanpa mengetuk

Kamu melantunkan rasa segala
Sambil mencecap Timur yang memancar seketika

Ditemani puntung serupa merta jiwa
Aku tak seangin pun berpaling,
hanya tengadah melirik langit

Aku sibuk menanam, jangan kamu petik
Namun, kupersilakan kamu 'tuk beri pupuk
Sampai aku tak lagi kuncup
Merekah dan mewarnaimu

Selayang taman Firdaus
Sejuk membayang narasimu
Dalam sunyi yang aku kenang sendiri,
dengan nyanyian alamanda putih

Yang berdiam saat bulan menjelang:
Kamu tak perlu merajuk,
aku sudah terlanjur memeluk.

What a Week

The title of this post says it all. I've live this whole week so... unexpectedly. There were some random things, mood swings on the period, and just a bit shocked to my dear self. The emptiness of I-don't-know-what has troubled me lately. The thought of being disappear approached, but no, I cannot. I was kind of excited, but exhausted at the same time. Deadline keeps haunting, tasks going crazy. Little things also decorated my mind. I'm bedazzled with anxiety. I feel like I'm in a rush, there's something inside me running fast from head to toe, driving me nuts to do things unusual. Hopefully I can manage myself survive swimming in a pool of honey poison. 

It's Dallas Clayton

I asked the wind, how should I be? And the clouds just staring, giggling with the sky as bright as you in the shade of blue. The wind didn't answer, but pray. It's natural, humans' feelings, all things happened for reasons. I'm (trying) enjoying the journey, hey! Everyday I get myself a good luck, to win something important. I'm having conversations with the character I live, every second of my life. I'm out of my cave and go running, wilding, get growing.

Do you like to count the ants in your mind? It stings a bit, but good to sharpen your counting skills. How many faces you've met? What kind of tornado you've been dealing with? Are you satisfied by the earth? Does the sun and the moon brighten up your day? But don't ever try to count what you got in life, you can't. You received a lot. We should've known from the beginning.

Inhale, exhale. 

Especially yesterday, yesterday's very unexpected. It was day 183.

I'm a Mermaid

People often hear with their eyes. Though their ears are wide open, or their heart. Maybe there's clouds hiding and blocking out the way. Well, that's maybe.

I questioned so much lately. I just feel like I wanna know everything and it's actually kinda strange. I'm such a Miss-Wanna-Know-It-All and it drives me to become more and more curious about what life will treat me. Too many surprises and I don't know if I can handle it or not. Probably, I'll just masquerade like a chameleon that change its color based on the situations to adapted. I need to make my focus sharpens and don't let negativity bothers me.

One of the questions I got in my list is this thought: When some writings that goes viral said that our attitudes will be based on how they (people) treated us, I disagree. I don't think that's ok. Why should we do that? We shall just do good to one another. We treated people the way they deserved to be treated, and people should be treated nicely. I know it's hard, especially when there's someone who's treated us as badly as it shouldn't be, but we don't know what kind of thunder he/ she has suffered, so just be kind. We shouldn't be blinded by things we don't like. We're not a chick, aren't we?

A. R. Lucas, a writer from America, has said what I screamed, intelligence is what I attracted to. Outsmart me, make me feel like I can learn with you and grow with you. If you do that, then you can have me forever. Fun isn't it? To encourage each other in intelligence, crafted the attention of ours. Oh people, yes please.

It's raining cats and dogs, but there must be a rainbow after all. Everyday is a brand new future. Why don't we make the most everyday? I realized things, and I learned. What matter most of you likely will guide you to be more... clever? I thought that's what should be. But whenever we're uninspired, we tend to be more clever too, unconsciously. We'll start looking for something to feed our exhausted soul and thirsty mind. Basically, that's what humans do. Don't you? We're just some hungry creatures.

It's just some of my random thoughts of the day, mind me. And to everyone that I talked with today, be happy and have time to celebrate your passionate life, you deserves the world. It's your passion, your way. Time is not here to be wasted so be wise. 

Cheers,

Gendis.