Friday, July 27, 2018

I'm Loving Myself

I was very cold-hearted, even when the life-changing problem happened about 8 or 9 years ago, I shed no tears at all. Or when my head got in the latrine pit, I was 4, all I thought was kinda fun because I could make bubbles inside. I always thought that a person should always be tough and strong, there was no room for sadness until I couldn't feel any feeling. If I think about it again this time, I'm wondering how can I be the person I was before and after now?

...life's changing in a glimpse. I am now more sensitive and I don't know if it's a good thing or not, I just feel relieved. I used to feel nothing at all, but now I am more human, I guess? I realized that being vulnerable is one of the ways for us to be human, so why should I worry about being one? I wise up about feelings after I entered college I suppose, that human supposes to feel feelings, any kind of it. Happiness, sadness. You can always be mad, or surprised, or disappointed.

I come up to this because in the midst of my conversation with Ebo,

"Dulu kamu nggak pernah nangis, sekarang kok bisa?"
"Aku tumbuh dan aku mencintai diriku dengan menghargai perasaanku."

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