Where is my Benji?

Hi!

I have a hobby or such an addiction to watch a YouTube channel and that is itsjudyslife. I got it from a friend of mine since 2014 and never has stopped watching it. They did daily vlogs on YouTube! Can you imagine?! Judy is a Filipino woman married to an Irish-Japanese guy named Benji. Long story short, they are blessed by three little cutie pies, the older one is Julianna and the twins, Miyako and Keira. I found out that they have such a very beautiful family! How both of them are love each other unconditionally and how they are very grateful for their children are very precious!

A perfect picture of them guys. 

Judy has a warm-hearted soul, very humble, kind, and also beautiful from the inside. Her aura is spread out all the way in her vlogs! She is also a very loving mom, I mean, check her out! She dedicated herself to try being the coolest mom on the planet.

Benji always shows his love to Judy, literally every time.

And Benji, boy oh boy. Hot dad alert! A family man, a sweet dad, and the best husband you could ever ask. Lucky you Judy! I can say that a portrait of a gentleman is Benji. I love seeing them together and they are definitely completing each other perfectly.

And Judy also did the same thing. Sweet!

Maybe some of you will say, "Omg! Gendis, they're so cheesy af. How could you say that they're romantic?!" You can judge me and tell me everything about them, but hey! You don't know how they engage so beautifully real and it all shows up on the vlogs. I never meet them though, but they're not faking it, please. You sure can differentiate the real one and the drama, don't you? They are not afraid of what people will talk about them, they embrace each other like no other! They both not raising the prestige to show their feelings to each other and that's what I'm talking about. Besides their love life, they are an honest person. 

Still connected with the topic, I picture them as a goal of my family in the next few years. LOL! I don't even think to have a boyfriend in the near future! Well, at least, not now. It's my experience that encourages me to have a family like them and why not anyway? As a broken home kid, I want to have a better future than my parent does. 

But for this past few days, I've been thinking about how do I define love? Did I ever find one? I mean, the real one. It's not love from my parents what I'm talking about, but being in love with the opposite sex. I'm in my 20s and I think this is the right to finally think up about my plan for love, a true love. I've a crush on boys since my puberty, but never find one that actually hit me hard for being so deeply falling in love.

Until I find one. This year. Is he my Benji? There's a day that I really confused and questioning...

A gif from Tumblr.

I just hate feeling all the butterflies in my tummy. Am not thinking he got the same feeling as I am and why should I care? We all got the best planner in all things and I'm lean on God.

BUT.

I actually have committed myself since the beginning to not having a boyfriend until I get married. I can have a crush on somebody, of course, but I don't think that I want to label my love with dating or what you call it in Bahasa, pacaran. I think that the label will not define your relationship, but a label for other to see. What is the point of dating then if it's not for yourself? I want to let me and someone that I love (if there even he) define ourself more than just dating, but committed. At the same time, we're free as a bird. We can define our relationship as something bigger than dating, but to know each other well. We can be a best friend that will look up for each other. And even if you finally found out that you both are not meant for each other, there will no broken heart because of the label pacaran. So, the relationship you begin will not end, but friendship.

In my religion (Islam), dating is not something God tells us to do. It's ta'aruf (you can search for the details of  it to find the best explanation). Well oh well, I'm not ready for it yet. It's still a looooong way to go for me to finally begin ta'aruf to someone. A long way to go. Noted that. And I always believe that a good woman will pair with a good man. We all just have to try to be the version of ourself to find the best one as well.

Okay, enough for me to released my opinion on public. I'll see you when I see you, folks!

Cheers,

Gendis.