Bitten

Hi!

What's more soothing than a warm hug in a blurry day? Stress is no good at all, self-love is what I got for my self-hate right now. College life game strong and I'm stunned. The midterm test is kind of a hit, thank Goodness I could handle. And the statistics were just very frustrating, oh well, I have never been good in any mathematical subject. Never thought that the fifth semester would be this... hard. It's like someone has slapped me in the face and said, "Tada! Welcome to the jungle, dear." That's why I took a lot of solo trip or going out with friends in this semester just because I'm starting a bit fed up.

On point

Oh so right

Last week I went to Jakarta 32C at Gudang Sarinah with a friend and found this ordinary writing. I just feel like it is so true, the cycle of happiness is actually when you can learn, work things out, and share it with others. Simple yet meaningful. You know, we always forget, or we just remember things that we liked. So, sometimes we need to be woken up by our surroundings, to see more clearly, to think up more rational. At the same time, we could have a little fun.

Play and have cheer of your life like a little kid with no probs. Feed the emptiness of our heart with a touch of childish soul because we can. 

For every sweats and tears

And parents' love. The never ending one, from a couple of special souls that God had sent to us. "Sudah makan belum?", "Ayah kangen.", "Ibu masak enak, cepat pulang.", simple questions like that will always have a place in my heart. Nothing can beat that. Nothing in this world. 

Today's the last day of my midterm week, so I went to Pekan Raya Indonesia with some friends. But today was not so great, statistics and investor relations in one day, can you imagine? And also I got my favorite tumbler broke. Yes, I did break it and I can't be more sad than this because this tumbler has become my company since high school. Little things did bother me. When I ask oh why, life answer, "Why not?" Okay, alright.

Life's pinch me hard and I made a fruit punch instead of begging. A twist here and there, drains me in a river of real struggle. I know I can make it ahead. 

Oh! Tomorrow's the day of Sumpah Pemuda in Indonesia, let's be the best version of ourselves youngsters :)

Blurry picture with my real ones

Ok bye now!

Cheers,

Gendis.

Oh Darling

Rain comes and sweep off the fears. A puddle of hopes that I found earlier started to show off. Blushing cheeks, also at heart because your kick. Night and the wind compromise to become a cheerleader to the nuance. Breezy love, empty glass, full shots of conversations. I glance at you, who's captivated me. Time seems to stop, trying to understand what's going on under the warm shades. I'm dealing with a portrait of a fictional character that exists in a human body. Wait, are you real?

Darling, I'm flying. Oh, but when I suddenly fall, would you like to catch?

And I forgot to ask you.

You won't spread your wings, so don't ask me to fly. Naive is what you're facing. Honesty is a diamond ring. Explanations extinct. Keeping someone hanging is not a thing. The words you're raised may take me out of the world, and what you did as an action is contrary. Don't grow your plant in a place that should be buried since the truth reveal. It's nonsense, and hurt, whatsoever. 

I ain't about to play no games and all is pseudo. I am just being human.

A Gem in a Railroad Tie

Once I met a flower, that blooms silently in a room full of smoke. The flower spread fragrance that seems so familiar in my olfactory vocabulary. A night blooming jasmine, a bit of freesia, a touch of wild flowers in Caribbean Island, with a decent sweet vanilla. It blurs in the air, intangible tangible kind of thing that will always make you wonder, is it here? 

Then I saw the flower swings, it dances. The flower follows the wind that asks it to play, but a butterfly came into the room and resting on the petals of the flower as it told the flower to just stay. It's like, the butterfly has hypnotized the flower. The butterfly made some promises, convinced the flower to believe. And the flower believed. 

But you know what? The butterfly didn't mean it. The butterfly actually resting on the petals of the flower to catch a beautiful butterfly next door. The one with sparkling wings, dazzling patterns, very stand out compared to other butterflies. The butterfly flew away, with the beautiful butterfly that I mentioned, and become a lovely duo. All the warm conversations and a little laugh that the flower and the butterfly did are just an illusion. Promises, remaining as something that's been forgotten and breaks everything. The flower should be known from the beginning, that a flower would never become a butterfly. The butterfly is not its match. 

Days pass, the flower still blooms silently, in a more graceful way than before. The hope of becoming a butterfly will never subside, though it will always be a daydreaming. The flower still thinking about the butterflies that become a perfect couple since that historic day, Thursday night as the flower can remember. The flower didn't even care about its feelings that is hurt anymore because all the flower can feel is that, the butterfly is a good and kind creature that will always melt its heart. The flower prays everyday and night, wishing to be free from the mantra of the butterfly that still haunts, and never leave. 

The flower stands still, never been picked by anyone, and became a portrait of an independent soul. 

Artwork by Katie Daisy

I give my respect for the big heart, for the strong commitment, for the love of being in love, that the flower always preserve. The flower is on the threshold of a mesmerizing life coming in the door. Knock, knock.. 

Even though I salute the flower, there's something that still makes me confused and wondering. How can I differentiate the feeling between love and admiration then? Or is it lust? When it's simply about, how I swam into your words, I dove in your soul for the finding of what you call the one, and I kept it that way even if I'm not the one. 

I know you're a gem in a railroad tie and I'm glad you've found your love.