My Bundle of Joy

Hi!

It's a beautiful day! I made a time to finally meet my chairmate in high school, Anka! I also met up with Dessy. We were hanging out in the mall nearby my campus and having lunch at the foodcourt. I got Bakmi Gajah Mada, while Anka and Dessy are eating KFC. We talked a lot. Anka told us about her life being a dentistry student, living alone without parents, and her eating habit that didn't even change since high school, ayam goreng and anything deep fried as long as they are chicken, beef, egg, tempeh, or tofu.

From left to right: Anka, me, Dessy.

We also watched Inside Out! The new Pixar movie. It was a great movie telling us about anything relate to emotion inside ours. After out from the cinema, Dessy and I agree that Anka is the sadness, because one of the dialogue in the movie, "I'm too sad to walk..." Lol, just kidding Anka. You guys should watch Inside Out, too! The movie sparks a dialogue around emotions and remind us that all emotions count. It is a worth to watch the movie, for sure.

It has been 1 year I didn't meet Anka, Anka is still the most awkward person I know, lol. Other than that, she is literally real, she needs no drama at all in her life. She managed herself well to be comfortable even when she's alone. I worship her for that. What I see her now, she needs more confidence in her soul. I don't know, she has to get up and starts facing the real life. I think it can be fun if she joining some activities in her college, make friends with more people, and doing good stuff that definitely will help her build up the character in herself. I know she got the power to conquer the world, deep inside her heart. It's just not shown up. I wish her a good life in the university, to be a diligent student and gain experience as a young adult. So, she can make a good career and be a better Anka. And one more thing, to eat healthy food and usual Indonesian food like other Indonesian eats, Anka, you better start liking fruit and veggies and also siomay, mi ayam, soto, etc! :P

As a closing, here I got a portrait of me and Anka when we had a yearbook photo shoot last year.

Sorry for the bad quality photo.

Bonus a throwback photo with my high school friends before we are studying in different places. I miss you girls, I wish I can turn back time for a good time.

From left to right: Alya, Anka, me, Dessy, Muthia, Ais.

Cheers,

Gendis.

Saturation Point

I actually fly on the wall and that is what makes me really need an explanation for what I see, what I hear. I feel like everyone's staring at me in the eye and saying lots of things I don't remember. I'm not in the mood of doing anything. I'm such a fool, I know. I just... I'm not focusing. Lately, everything that is happening distract me in a bad way, I can't control myself. I can't control my emotion to be more calm. Though, I realized that this time, is the important time I should pay more attention. I couldn't deny that I'm a lazy little monkey, but I can be a very hard worker like I'm running out of money. Yeah but this time, there's nothing I can hang on to, no one. 

Until I see the sky. Sky's so blue, sun's so bright. It looks so dreamy to look at the sky for a while, forget about anything, anyhow. Then I close my eyes, start imagining a fun thing. I play on the edge of the rainbow, filling my mouth with a lot of marshmallows. Seeing a bird singing on the apple tree and hearing my grandma yelling me to come in to a candy house because she's making a blueberry pie. I'm so darn happy. Kidding. I seriously have to get through that dream because a bee stings my soul.

I need to wake up from the drama I make my own. Life's not a fairytale, it's an evil world. I can't just chill, rely on my everyone's shoulder. I definitely have to WAKE UP. Turn this evil in me to a fairy godmother. So, I can stand in my own. The heck with all the barriers because I was born to be a winner. God trusts me so that people give trust in me, I just need to trust myself that I can. This whole thing I'm working on will definitely pay off, someday, somehow. Sometimes, life's unfair, until you recognize how lucky you are to be alive here, in the world. I'm lucky.

At times, it is hard to keep me motivated, like I'm not ready for everyday challenges. Life goes up and down, but you know what? I'm a survivor. I might be struggling in the way to my success, exhausted in the middle of the journey, but I'm not gonna exit. I'm not a quitter. Past may not be changed, but I can always change my future. And it is all starts from now.

Dear me, I know you will read this again by the time running, you just have to remember to don't give up and always give the best out of yourself :)

Cheers,

Gendis. 

Wednesday Afternoon

I was sitting in front of a happy couple. They laughed so hard, like trying to tell everyone they're meant to be a lover. I was sitting in front of the couple, alone. My mind flowing in the air asking about a job, to think anything. Eyes were rolling, but looking at them. Butterfly smiles, tree swings. They caught me in the eyes, I left. I carried a diary in my hand, holding it like it is His hand. Tears falling, I don't mind. And I heard a voice, ringing loud in my ear. The one keeps telling, "Don't look back."