Selfish

You would never know how selfish you are until you awaken, by things or by beings.

You say that you can do everything by yourself, you never troublesome anyone in your life, but do you know that there might be someone out there that need you to be around? Or as simple as that the wildflowers in front of your place that need to be watered? When you say that you're so independent, so self-reliant, and everything that is self-centered, really? How can you think so?

Sometimes, I'm selfish, very selfish. Some other times, I don't even care a pinch about me. Well, I believe that in every cosmos, there will be chaos, and so on because the earth is indeed spinning. Besides, I don't like the idea of being selfish and I don't want to be around with someone selfish, even tho as I said, I am.

I joined a creative writing workshop with Ayu Utami today. She said that if we want to make fiction about ourselves, we should know how to position ourselves and how to keep distance between us and the character. People tend to show only the good side of themselves, while the bad ones are always to be kept. And I think that's how we tend to behave in life too, right? Or no?

Is it what makes us really human? That we will always be questioning everything? And if there's no answer for our question, isn't it an answer itself?